Confessions of my lunacy fringe
by Feeling-so-unsure
Summary: Rosko is Jason & Robin's adopted daughter. This is her story in her POV, the POV's go in & out. She is very disturbed & the one person who can control her is not there. Jasonsam  RobinPatrick. Includes all characters.
1. how pathethic

**Disclaimer-**I do not own GH or any of the songs used, I only own my characters

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**She's doesn't deserve to be in a place like this**

**All alone**

**She's underage and so very very brave**

**A fake ID lent her credibility**

**She sits at the bar**

**The gents are gonna try so hard**

**He said it was a one night stand**

**But the alcohol didn't let her understand**

**Yeah, he said it was a one night stand**

**A one night stand**

My fake ID, never fails to fool them. I just wish all of those pervs would stop staring at me. Isn't it pathetic that I am an alcholic...and more at the young age of sixteen? Many people drink because the intoxication numbs the pain, but I love the burning sensation in my throat when I shoot back the whiskey...the same way I love seeing the blood pour from my screaming emotionless body when I break the skin with my trusty straight-edge. The striaght-edge, the whiskey, the drugs, & everything else destructive are my only friends.

**So what made you think**

**That he couldn't find a door in the morning?**

**When he found that bed so easily**

**In the dark**

**So what made you think**

**That he couldn't find a door in the morning?**

**When he found that bed so easily**

**In the dark**

I bet you're asking who Iam & why I am telling you this disturbing information. My name is Roskovenya Larissa Nova, but most people just use the names Rosko & Rossi. I am sixteen & the daughter of the late Conen Nova, he was one of Lorenzo Alcazar's best men-until he beytrayed him. Alcazar vowed to kill him & his entire family, if it wasn't for Jason Morgan rescuing me he would have completed his mission. I was seven or eight at the time & Jason was engaged to a doctor named Robin Scorpio, so they adopted me. When they broke up I ended up staying with Jason, since Alcazar kept trying to kill me. I had grown close to Jason, Robin, Sonny, & anyone they knew...until I was thirteen. I had met this girl who to this day is my still my best friend, Leah Adrelle, & I had a close call with Alcazar. At first I wasn't into all the drugs & drinking & sleeping around the way Leah was...but after I almost died, I used the drugs to get rid of the memories, the drinking to cause the pain that soothes me, the cutting to watch my problems float away with every trickle of blood, & the sleeping around to take control what one of Alcazar's men had done to me.

**So the bartender who tends to pretend that he's concerned**

**Says, "Girlie girlie, you're at your best (you're at your best) when you're sober"**

**And she slurs, "No no, just one more"**

**And one turns into four**

**The fourth drink instinct is taking over**

**And the gentleman is leading her towards the door**

"Hey girl, I am about to cut you off." the bartender warned me. I needed this, the pain wasn't good enough yet. "Look sir, just one more please?" I pleaded with him, I needed this. "Fine." the bartender gave in. Perfect, this will all be over soon. "May I sit?" I looked up to see a man with dark skin & shoulder-length curly black hair. I am so far gone, I don't care what happens. "Sure, Iam Rosko." I replied introducting myself. "Julian." he offered his name while sitting down.

We began to talk and I realized I had four more drinks, I must be plastered...but I don't care. "Hey, wanna go back to my place?" Julian insisted. I smiled, tonight will be fun. "sure." I answered so got up & he led me out the door.

**So what made you think**

**That he couldn't find a door in the morning?**

**When he found that bed so easily**

**In the dark**

**So what made you think**

**That he couldn't find a door in the morning?**

**When he found that bed so easily**

**In the dark**

My head is killing me, I must've had so much to drink. I looked around not recognizing my surroundings. Then, it hit me...I did it again. "Shit." I muttered getting dressed and running out the door. I have to sober up before work.

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Once I got home I jumped in the shower, got ready, & threw on my scrubs. Let me explain to you my appearance, I stand at 5' & I am thin, with the perfect hourglass shape, & the perfect sized chest. My skin is lightly tan, I have long, straight black hair with light blue chunky streaks. The streaks match my deep light blue eyes, it's so funny how people think I am Jason's real daughter because of our eyes. I really don't mind that opinion though, because Jason is the closest thing to a father to me.

I put some make up on & I was out the door. By the time I got to the hospital, where I do my nursing rescidency (Ill explain later.), i was fifteen minutes late, so I rushed over to the nurse's station & saw Epiphany with, what looked like a new doctor. "Hey, I am so sorry I am late." I greeted Epiphany apologetically. "We'll talk later, Rossi." she replied using my other nickname. " I want you to meet our new head Cardiologist..." she continued & when the man looked up I almost fainted. It was the man from the bar...I hate my life. "Dr.Julian, I would like you to meet our resident nurse, Rosko...or Rossi. She's sixteen & Dr. Scopio's adopted daughter." Epiphany introduced me. "You...your...your sixteen?" he stammered. I just nodded, I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. I needed something to cope with all of this. "Excuse me I need to start my shift." I said politely & walked into the locker room.

Of course, to make my day worse I run into my adopted mother & her boyfriend Dr. Drake Jr. making out. That was okay to me though, I respect both Dr. Drakes & Robin...which is why those other student nurses can't stand me. Anyway, the bad part was I litterally ran into the other doctor Drake who was in a towel. "Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, sorry Noah my haed is scatter-brained today." I apologized after my mumbling rant. He just gave me a look like he was suspicous that I was hungover. See, we speak one of the same languages...the alcholic language, we can both tell when someone's plastered or hungover. I just moved past him & walked to my locker, mumbling, "Why me? They should've just let me die." I was aware of the doctors still in there listening to my every word, but I couldn't hold it back. As I walked past the doctors (all of them satring at me may I remind you.) to the door throwing my hair up, I said loudly to humor them. "This is going to be a long day."

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**A/N-**Ok first off, please review this...I want to know how my character is, even if it's a bad one. I want to say I got my inspiration from Tracy from Thirteen. I know she is deeply disturbed but there is a reason why & you'll know later. Now I don't know if Jason & Robin were ever engaged but they were in my fic. If you listen to Lunacy fringe by the used, youll find out later how well she fits with he song, hence my title.


	2. Southwest Voodoo

I love the view from the roof, its so beautiful, & its also a long way down. I had to get out of that place...the walls were closing in on me. The roof gives me time to think about everything that has happened in my life & where to go from here. I sat down on the ledge, swung my legs over so that my feet hung over the side of the building. I loved doing this, because it's the closest thing to flying for me. I then, withdrew myself from the world & started to think. I am such an expert at withdrawing myself, I just fear that one day I'll withdraw myself & never come back. Anyway, I started thinking about how downhill my life had gone since Jason went to Penttenville(sp?). Sonny who is the next best thing to Jason, my other rock if you will, cannot even look at me for some reason. Maybe he knows I am emotionally dying, but why is he giving up on me. Why is everyone giving up on me? I wonder what my makeshift family would think, if they knew I woke up everyday hoping to die. I am dying though, or at least my mind, heart & soul are...& that may lead to my suicide.

"Don't jump just because your having a bad day." a voice called out, breaking me from my thoughts. Normally, it would have shocked a person, but I sat there like a stone not really seeing, my voice cold & hollow. "I don't plan on killing myself that way, Patrick." I replied. He must've been looking for Robin, but she is in the O.R. I swung my legs back over stood up & walked over to my corner, & just sat there with a blank stare, hugging my knees to my chest. I could feel him burning his eyes into my every move though, he finally walked over and sat down next to me. "Want to talk about it?" Patrick offered laying his hand on my knee. I looked straight into his eyes, to read his intentions & they were good. "Look, today just isn't going well & with Jason in prison...it's just making me start to realize the reality that I may end up alone." I informed him, my voice still blank & hollow. "Well, what about living with Robin?" Patrick asked. That thought scared me, & it already took alot for Sonny & Jason to deal with me, I loved Robin too much to put her through that. "She couldn't handle me." I replied. I looked at Patrick again & I knew exactly what he was going to say, so I gave him an answer. Standing up, I lost my mind a little "Look, I know you're gonna say 'just ease up' or something like that, but you don't understand...I am dying, slowly but surely. I can't hold onto me anymore, & the only person who could save me from myself is sitting in prison." By this time I had tears in my eyes, & Patrick stared at me concerned, but I continued anyway. "I am dying, & I don't know who is taking over me & thats what scares me, I have no control. Robin has her own problems & I love her too much to put her through that." I finished before running towards the door & leaving the hospital.

On my way back to the penthouse, Leah started to call me. "Hey chika." I answered the phone. " Hey wanna go to the park & sell some shit?" she asked me. Without even thinking I repiled, "Hell yeah, I'll meet you there in 10." I then said goodbye & hung up. I needed this but first I had to do something else. I went into an alleyway, & lead my hand into my pocket searching for my straight-edge. Once I had found it, I collapsed on the floor & played with it against my skin.

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I finally caught up to Leah at the park. "Hey sexy." she greeted me. "what's up?" I replied hugging her as always. "Hey, I want you to meet more friends of mine." Leah informed me & nodded toward three guys in front of us. I love meeting new people! "This is Spider, Twist, & Voodoo." she told me. "What's cooking good looking?" the boy introduced as Voodoo replied. I hated getting hit on by a person I just met, I have to have known them for five minutes first, so I replied by saying "radioactive muffins." sarcastically. "Come on you guys let's go get high." Twist called out.

After about an hour, we were all higher than airplanes. Everything that happened today just seemed to fade, but then once I am sober it will all hit me like a ton of bricks. Voodoo asked me to hold his water bottle that was filled with, "DOA juice", a nice hard-liquor drink he invented, so I got drunk off of it. I was having so much fun, but then I thought that Jason was home waiting for me, to make sure I came home safe. "Hey, I am getting out of here." I announced standing up. "Bye honey." Leah said getting up to hug me, & whispered in my ear "I love you." I said the same to her & exchanged goodbyes with the boys & walked away.

Walking home, I put on iPod, & put on Three days grace. I relate to their songs so much. I looked up into the sky & saw so many, they shine so bright. The music & the stars put my mind at peace, & I felt normal. I turned off my ipod at the door & said hello to friend Freddy, behind the desk. Then I got on elevator & rode it up to the penthouse.

I came inside the apartment to see Sam on her laptop. "Hey." she greeted me. 'That's odd where's Jason?' I thought to myself. "Hey Sam where, Ja..." I suddenly stopped & realization hit me. He wasn't here, I haven't seen him in weeks. My knees gave way without my control, sending me to the floor. I started crying, hugging me knees to my chest mumbling "I am dying." over & over. My voice was shaking & tranced-like. Sam came in front of me & sat down to meet my level. "What's wrong?, Talk to me. Stay with with me Rosko, whats wrong?" sam pleaded. When I didn't answer she tried to put her hand on my knee. "DONT TOUCH ME!" I screamed. I wanted to run upstairs & lock myself away but my body kept me there shaking. I could see Sam getting really scared, so she did the only thing she could think of...she called Sonny.

**OUT OF POV:**

"Hello."

"Sonny, its Sam."

"Are you okay, you sound nervous?"

"Its Rosko, shes having a mental breakdown."

"Ill be there in ten minutes."

"Thanks Sonny, you may be the only person right now who could pull her out of it."

"I hope I could."

LINE GOES DEAD

**BACK TO POV:**

I watched Sam hang up the phone & came back over to me. She got down to my level & tried to look me in the eyes. I looked down, I just don't want to people seeing that this is me. "Sonny will be here soon." she said. This may help me, although Sonny sometimes gives up on me easily. It is kind of a habit with people, giving up on me. I just really need him right now.


End file.
